


Dr. Pryde

by miranda_gilastorm (m_gilastorm)



Series: Dr. Pryde AU [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Therapy, Triggers, Your feelings are valid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 16:31:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14937893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_gilastorm/pseuds/miranda_gilastorm
Summary: Daisy has been through too much in the last five years. She finds herself in the containment module with a new therapist that she's never seen before who may actually be able to help her.





	Dr. Pryde

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whistlingwindtree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whistlingwindtree/gifts), [Fierysky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fierysky/gifts).



> Okay, TW: description of the beginnings of a panic attack, descriptions of non-sexual violation (medical, manipulation, kidnapping, mind control) and its comparison to rape. 
> 
> This was a prompt from fierysky/whistlingwindtree for Daisy to actually get the therapy she needs to work through all the trauma she's been put through.

Daisy leaned her head back against the white textured walls, sitting on the bed in the containment module as a slender woman who could have been anywhere from her age to May's walked to a folding chair in the corner across from her. "You know, Dr. Pryde, if that's your real name, the last time I did this with someone, they became an inhuman and tried to kill everyone, right?"

"Dr. Andrew Garner, Lash, yes. I've read the files." The therapist sitting in front of her wasn't SHIELD. Or not someone she was familiar with. Brown hair, green eyes, well-muscled, and totally at ease in an enclosed space with a juiced-up Quake.

"So then you know that being my therapist is like, bad luck or something."

Dr. Pryde uncrossed her legs and leaned forward, elbows on her knees. "Because wherever you go, death follows?"

"What did you just say?" Daisy lifted her hand to send a slight shockwave at the woman. Not enough to hurt her, just push the chair back against the wall. She didn't need to hear those words repeated to her. Not now. She'd lost too much.

The chair flew against the wall, empty. Dr. Pryde hovered where she'd been sitting, unaffected by the loss of her seat or the wave that had gone straight through her.

She stood and tossed her hair, straightening her top. "I apologize. I didn't mean to strike a nerve."

"You  _apologize_? I just attacked you!"

"Technically, you attacked a chair. You would have a hard time hurting me, Agent Johnson. I've been at this much longer than you." Dr. Pryde held Daisy's almost rabid gaze steadily, waiting for her to calm down.

"So what? You're a hologram? Projected into here from somewhere else?"

The therapist reached over and pinched her arm.

"Hey!"

"Nope. Try again." The woman grabbed the chair from its collapsed place along the wall and set it back down to sit. She crossed her legs again and motioned for Daisy to speak.

"Mack isn't sure what the centipede formula did to me, how powerful or unstable I am now. He knows I need to talk out everything that's happened since, well since everything, but he wasn't willing to send an agent in here with me. So he found you - whatever you are."

Dr. Pryde tilted her head from side to side. "More or less. I actually used to work for SHIELD, once upon a time. Your new Director would be able to broker a new alliance, if he's half as smart as he seems. If there were any of us left, that is."

Daisy glared. "So you're not inhuman like me."

"No, certainly not. I was born with my abilities and they manifested when I was thirteen. I spent a couple of decades in an alternate dimension and when I got back, there were no more like me here, just inhumans and aliens. Looks like someone messed with a few too many timelines, or else I ended up on the wrong earth."

"You don't seem too terribly upset about that."

The therapist raised her hand and passed it through the wall of the containment module, pulling it back out and then pressing her hand against the wall as if it were solid again. "My powers have continued to mutate through my life. First it was phasing through matter, then space and dimensions, then time. There was an object threatening an entire world. It was so dense, it threatened to destroy that planet and then just keep going. So I phased into it and phased it through the whole planet, and the next, and the next. So no. I'm not too upset to be out. I miss people, family, my team, sure. But the world I knew is gone. I spent a long time in that demon stone until I could finally phase it into its home dimension. I have to admit, I'd accidentally phased to different earths, alternate timelines, but never a hell dimension."

Daisy's attention snapped up. "It was Robbie, wasn't it? Robbie brought you here."

Dr. Pryde smirked. "Yes it was. I think it was his home or stay where I was until I could figure my own way out. The choice was obvious."

"So Robbie's back?"

"I think I've given you enough information. Your turn to talk, Daisy."

She leaned back against the wall again, crossing her arms and legs. Some spy. She walked right into that. "Fine, where do you want me to start?"

The woman shrugged, "We can always start where Dr. Garner left off. Do you want to talk about Lash?"

"I don't want to talk about anyone that died because of what I did."

"Who exactly would you put on that list?"

Daisy looked away, staring at the far wall of the module. This Dr. Pryde was good. "Lash, all the inhumans he killed, the agents that died when I destroyed the base, my mother, Tripp, Raina, Charles, Ruby, Talbot." She turned to glare at the therapist. "The list goes on and on. You said it. Where I go, death follows."

"I noticed you left off a name."

The inhuman swallowed hard and looked away. "Lincoln."

"From what I hear, you were pretty severely impacted by his death." Dr. Pryde didn't have any clinical edge or false compassion in her voice. It was a fact, but she seemed aware of just how much that fact hurt.

"Yeah, I left. I abandoned the only family I'd ever had to go on some vendetta against a hate group. I was branded a wanted vigilante. But that wasn't what made it all sting. Lincoln told me he loved me. He said he was dying to save the world and the girl he loved. When I was under Hive's sway, I left Lincoln, chose Hive over him. And even after Lash died saving me from Hive, I went back like some kind of addict. I chose Hive  _again_. I didn't deserve that kind of love." She spit the words out, almost not believing she was saying them out loud.

"Lincoln disagreed."

Daisy stared hard at the wall opposite the therapist, wiping away a silent tear, scoffing. "Yeah, I know he did. But I don't know why."

Dr. Pryde spoke softly, "Have you ever thought it might be because you haven't stopped thinking of yourself as that unwanted orphan from St. Agnes? Yes, you became Skye, genius hacker, and then Agent Daisy Johnson, now Quake. But in your own heart, do you feel like those things? Or do you sometimes wonder why people see you as them?"

Daisy sniffled, trying to recover, wiping away more tears. "You know, I think I've told you enough for you to answer my question about Robbie."

The therapist laughed gently. "I suppose you have. Yes, Roberto was successful in his mission with the Darkhold and is back in this dimension. Although, I believe he was pulled away to New York by a warlock there. He dropped me in SHIELD's lap, told me to remind you to check on Gabe, and was off in that gorgeous car of his." Dr. Pryde blew a stray piece of hair out of her face, waving her hand in emphasis as if she could mimic Robbie's Charger.

An exclamation from her therapist startled Daisy and the module shook slightly. "There! That! Hold on to whatever that was."

She shook her head, brown eyes wide in absolute bewilderment. "What are you talking about?"

"Whatever thought just brought that small, genuine smile to your face." The woman gestured at Daisy's face. "It's the first one I've seen since we've been talking. You should hold on to whatever thought that was."

Daisy blushed slightly. It had been Robbie, with his second glance back at her right before he stepped through the portal he'd created with his chain.

"Interesting."

"Oh don't say that. I hate when shrinks say that." Her flush deepened.

"It's true. You're an interesting case."

Daisy pressed her lips tight, nodding slightly. "'Case.' Project, specimen, lab rat. Whatever you like to call me."

"Not a fan of doctors, then?" The therapist's eyes didn't move from Daisy's face and she couldn't be sure if she knew or not.

Her hand moved on its own, touching the scar behind her ear tenderly. "No. Not a fan of doctors. Too much poking, prodding,  _invading_."

Dr. Pryde sat back, sighing calmly. "I see. Would it help you to know my PhD. is in computer sciences?"

"I'm sorry. It's what?" The agent froze for a moment before staring at her therapist in shock.

"Yep. CS comes naturally to me, just like it does to you. Everything else came after. I'm in here, talking to you, because I owe Robbie, not because I'm a SHIELD shrink. But I spent enough time being tortured by a telepath and needing to sit with one to know how to help you, if you'll let me."

The two stared each other down, Daisy's brown eyes meeting emerald ones. Daisy relented. "Fine!" She tossed her hands up, slapping them down on her thighs for emphasis. "But only because now I'm curious. Oh, and I'm not calling you Dr. Pryde unless you're my professor or something, so you're going to have to tell me your name."

Her not-therapist smirked. "It's Katherine. They used to call me Kitty. And in the same way you're Quake, I was Shadowcat." Kitty raised a brow in askance.

Daisy nodded. "Alright, so ask what you wanted to ask me. Ask if I actually  _want_ to go find Fitz."

"Wasn't the question I had in mind. It's clearly the one you're struggling with, though. So, do you?"

She shifted on the bed she'd been sitting on the entire session so her feet were on the ground, hoping for some contact with the earth's vibrations, something to help everything feel more real. That was the thing about the containment module, the only frequencies she could sense were the ones in the room. She felt cut off, isolated, like part of her was missing. In this room, her body was a prison, not able to reach out of the lighthouse and hear the mountains and lakes outside. It was like being in space again, or worse, like those moments right after the inhibitor was out -  when her power was there but not active.

Her knee bounced up and down. She still had to answer. "I don't know. If we find the Fitz in cryo, he won't be the one who did," she motioned to her left ear, " _this_ to me. He won't be the one who locked Mack in a cell. He won't know anything about any of it and it wouldn't be fair for me to blame him for it, but I'm going to. I know I am." Her knee bounced faster. She wasn't claustrophobic, but having her powers restricted - it was becoming a problem.

Kitty noticed. She stood from her chair in the corner. "The thing that he took out, it inhibited your powers, right?"

Daisy nodded, swallowing, eyes closed. For a moment, she remembered being on that table begging him not to do it, pleading with her  _friend._ A reassuring hand rested on her knee and the sensation rushed in all at once. She could hear the frequencies of every rock and tree, every stone in the lighthouse. She stared at her therapist in shock.

"This is more or less a grounding or 'mindfulness' technique. Having your abilities restricted is clearly a trigger. Mine was being forced to stay solid - which is usually through an electrical current. I'm phasing enough of the module to allow the waves in, but you can't hurt anything outside if you  _do_ panic."

Kitty let out a huff of surprise as Daisy collapsed on her, crying. The room trembled occasionally with her sobs, but Pryde just let her cry, rubbing her back soothingly. She didn't hush her or tell her it was going to be okay, like Jemma always did, Kitty let her hurt and understood it was necessary sometimes.

Daisy sat up, taking a deep breath. "How much do you know about The Doctor?"

Kitty fixed her with level green eyes. "I know you and Agent Simmons went into a simulated universe where Hydra wins. I've seen a couple like that - they're never pretty. The LMD who maintained and programmed the Framework tried to give each person what she believed would make them most happy, but allowing the events to play out went very badly. Allowing Agent Fitz to be raised by his father made him successful, but it was in a Nazi mut- I mean, inhuman hating regime, and he rose through the ranks through cruelty and fear. That Fitz is who is referred to as The Doctor and was believed to be gone when the Framework was destroyed."

Nothing but facts. Daisy nodded. She left out Ward and that was probably intentional - Mace too. "Do you know that when I woke up in the Framework I was in Grant Ward's bed? The man who kidnapped me, threatened to rape me, and turned me over to my psycho parents, who eventually put me through the mists against my will. The man whose face Hive stole and used when I was under his sway."

"I was aware of much of that, yes."

"Well, when we still believed Ward was one of us - a SHIELD agent, he dropped Fitz and Simmons in a pod in the middle of the ocean, where they scienced their way out, like they always do -"

"- But Agent Fitz suffered a TBI, a traumatic brain injury. And, under undo stress and lack of sleep, which were the precise conditions he found himself in before Talbot and the Gravitonium, a TBI can flare up."

She pursed her lips and nodded slowly. "That's what Jemma kept saying. 'He's sick' she'd say. The only thing was, he didn't go back to being Fitz. It was like he was both, in some way, and he wasn't sorry. Kept saying it was the only way." She turned to Kitty, who was still sitting on the bed by her, not too close to make her uncomfortable, but near enough to be there if she needed her. "He cut into my body! And he didn't even think to ask if I would help!"

Kitty watched her with cool compassion as Daisy covered the scar protectively. "You didn't want to come back. You feared your powers and what you could do with them. Now they've been forced on you twice, first by your father and now by your friend. Your body and your ability to choose what to do with it has been taken from you too many times."

Daisy shuddered and ran a hand over her arm. "You make it sound like I was raped or something and-."

The therapist cut her off, "Was your body violated against your will?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but she didn't have words. Processing that was too much. She couldn't think about it or she'd be back on that table, begging him to stop, not to do it. "You sound like you've dealt with this before."

"I have. I told you, I've been tortured by a telepath. I've had my mind invaded, my ability to control my own actions and decisions taken from me. At one point, she even took my body. And I've seen a good friend, one of the most powerful mut- of our kind - to ever live, be taken over by a dark entity and have to deal with the aftermath. Some days, she could still hear it whispering in her head, and we'd have to  _literally_ put out the fires. So yeah, I know something about being violated with sex having nothing to do with it. And I know what recovering from it looks like. It hurts and you're not always stable and your power can be unpredictable and you might have flashbacks like some kind of war vet, but that's not on you. It's a normal part of the healing process, and  _none of this is your fault._ "

Daisy stared at her with unshed tears in her eyes. Kitty held up a hand. "I mean it, Johnson. None of this is your fault. You have been a victim and what you are feeling - this hurt - is valid.  _Your feelings are valid_. You're not crazy and you're not dangerous or toxic. So now, we just take you from being a victim to a survivor."

Daisy swallowed, still not able to speak. She nodded, taking a deep breath. "Okay, yeah. I think I can do that. But I think Robbie will come after both of us if we don't go check on Gabe."

The older woman stood from the bed and offered a hand, pulling Daisy to her feet. "Well, we wouldn't want to piss off your boyfriend, now would we?"

Kitty strode out the door of the module before she could even protest. "Hey! He's not - oh forget it." And she followed after the woman who was going to help her heal.

**Author's Note:**

> I AM AWARE KITTY PRYDE DOES NOT HAVE ALL THOSE ABILITIES. Although, according to the writers/directors of Days of Future Past, she has the ability to phase through time and space and bring people with her. I just added the dimensions part. So fight me.
> 
> Also, I am a mental health professional with one degree in psychology, working on another in clinical mental health, and currently work as a substance abuse counselor. I didn't bullshit my way through this piece. I know no therapist or counselor in their right mind would ever disclose as much personal information as Kitty did (which is part of why I kept her as NOT an actual therapist), but Kitty Pryde gets violated in the comics by Emma Frost over and over and over again. She seemed like a good candidate to be giving advice. 
> 
> Daisy deserves all the support and help and time to heal that she needs. Anyone who thinks otherwise can fight me.
> 
> My username has changed everywhere: tumblr @miranda-gilastorm; IG and twitter @m_gilastorm; WP mirandagilastorm.wordpress... come talk to me before I disappear into the abyss that is grad school!


End file.
